Saints...

I just finished My life with the Saints. I know everyone read it last year...

It was a good book and I understand why it sold so many copies. There were few surprises in the individual lives of the saints he wrote about, St. Francis, St. Thomas, St. Ignatius, St. Joan of Arc, St. Bernadette Soubirous. I had heard their lives before. He also wrote about some people we all think are saints.... Dorothy Day, John XXIII, Blessed Theresa of Calcutta etc. It was good to be reminded of them of their lives and examples.

However what struck me the most was the last chapter.. the "so what" chapter. What do the lives of the Saints mean for us? What difference do they make?

Yes, they are intercessors.. does the fact that we think of them or are inspired by them mean that they are already praying for us as the author suggests... who really knows?

Yes, they are models of holiness, somehow they were able to take their personalities, their unique gifts, the circumstances in which they lived, and use all of these things to come closer to God and inspire others to do the same.

At first glance it seems very appropriate for us to pattern our lives after them, after the saints who inspire us. I am a Franciscan and I want to imitate St. Francis. However the author makes a very good point. I am not Francesco Bernadone, I am did not grow up in Assisi, I am not the son of a wealthy merchant. the United States of America now is very different from 13th Century Umbria, St. Francis can inspire me but I have to find my own way to God. I can use some of the same tools that he used but I cannot be a cookie cutter image of him.

God can and will use my strengths, my weaknesses, my hopes, my fears, my desires, my culture to call me to holiness and my road to God has involve all of these things. All of us, have to find our way home, and on the journey we can and will be inspired by the lives of those who came before us. We can count on their prayers and mediate on their lives however, each one of us has to find our own way to holiness. St. Robert who grew up in Cheektowaya and went to Bishop Turner High School, sounds pretty weird... There is so much to be done.

A couple of days ago I put up some clips of the author talking about humor in the lives of the Saints... He is quite the stand up comedian. Enjoyable

Thoughts on celibacy by a celibate on my 25th Anniversary of Priesthood

Sorry this is so long….

Where do I begin to describe my life and my choice to follow God's call of celibacy? For some reason I've been thinking a lot about celibacy lately. I'm not exactly sure why? I'm not in a crisis or anything. I promised to live my life as a celibate over 30 years ago and I have no intention or even desire to break that promise. I regularly pray for the grace to continue on the road I started so many years ago.

To many or most in our world my choice to answer God's call and live a life of celibacy doesn't make any sense. It is just so plainly counter cultural that it seems foolish, or forced, or worse. Some would go so far as to say that my choice to live a celibate life puts me at greater risk for pathologies and anti-social behaviors. I've never seen any credible evidence to back up such claims. There are lots of people with anti-social behaviors who are not celibates. But I sadly can guess why people could feel or think that way. I don't judge them for their thoughts-- no matter how much they give me pause or even at times cause me pain.

Why am I a celibate? I guess I would have to say that that I have chosen to live this life because I believed God called me to it. I believe that I was created to be a celibate and I am convinced that God created me to be a priest. Being celibate is part of my God given vocation. Being celibate and being a priest are integral to the way that I fit in God's plan. Did I understand what it would take to live as a celibate when I entered the Order at a ripe young age of 18? No, obviously not. But, I was willing to give it a try because I believed that celibacy was what God, and God's Church, God's people, wanted from me, needed from me.

Over the years, my celibacy, has presented different challenges to me at different times. When I was younger there were moments when I thought that giving up sexual intimacy for my whole life seemed daunting and fool hardy. Many a day I asked myself if it was worth it. I asked myself if this was indeed what God wanted me to do. In our hyper-sexualized culture often I would and do find myself being tempted to take the easy way out or just give up. Thankfully those moments of temptation have changed over time but to be honest they are still there. In my 20s everywhere I looked there were couples. Couples holding hands couples, walking arm in arm. Public displays of affection were the rule not the exception in Italy during my seminary day. However, I have come to see that celibacy is so much more than just giving up sex or sexual gratification. It may not be possible to live without food or water or air, but it is possible to live without sex. It is possible to live without sex and still live a normal happy holy and productive life. I hope I am an example of such a life.

As I continued on my walk with celibacy in the early years of my priesthood, I started noticing couples with children. I watched attentively as many of these couples seemed in awe of the beautiful little children that God had given them. I have known many young men and women who seemed to experienced the presence of God almost for the very first time in their lives when they held their new born in their arms. Sometimes, when I baptized the beautiful babies that couples brought to me I would feel pangs of envy as they walked out the door together with their child. When children are born, when the two become three or four or whatever, a whole new kind of life begins. This new family life calls for loving sacrifice each and every day for years and years, but from these lives shared, life-long loving relationships develop. Your family is your family is your family and there is no one like them. While a few parents seem to want to push their kids and their stuff out of the car door as they slowly drive by our Residence Halls on Freshman Orientation day, for most parents it appears to me that even the thought of being separated from their child as they drive away is bittersweet indeed. Yes, celibacy means that I will never have children of my own. I will never hold my offspring in my arms. I will never watch their first steps or cheer them on as they face the challenges of life. For many years this was and at times continues to be a challenging sacrifice to make.

A couple of years ago I went to see Pride and Prejudice it is definitely a "chick flick" and even I was surprised I went. It definitely did not fit into my normal movie fare. As strange as it may seem I almost felt that I was providentially called to see it. I won't go into details about why I felt this way or what the movie was about, all that is important is that the movie ended with a beautiful scene of intimacy between a young man and his new wife. The last scene showed them as they knelt facing each other and promised their love in a beautifully tender way. As the movie ended I remember feeling overwhelmed with awe and then sadness. I remember saying to myself as my eyes welled up, "I will never ever be able to share my life with another person like that, an experience like that will never be a part of my life". Once again my vocation to celibacy had shown itself as a sacrifice or a challenge. This realization was not a surprise to me. I have always known that denying myself this type of intimacy was part of my call to celibacy however, as I walked down the corridor of the E Street Theater that day it may have been the first time I ever felt the cost of my call so powerfully.. (More to follow on that little experience)

At first glance I don't seem to be painting a very pretty picture do I? Celibacy demands the absence of sexual gratification, there will be no children of my own to hold raise or nurture, celibacy means I will never share my hopes, my fears my joys and my failures with another person as I lay in their arms. It is easy to see why so many people at first glance run from even the idea of such a life. I admit that without the eyes of faith, freely chosen celibacy may seem to be folly indeed.

Over the years, it has become impossible for me to understand my life outside of God's loving plan, or without the eyes of faith. So here goes... These are some of the reasons I see value in my call to celibacy even with all its challenges, the challenges I have already faced and mentioned and even the challenges unknown which I will face in the future. Even with everything I've said above I still believe that God called me to live a celibate life and here are some reasons why:

I have come to clearly see that celibacy frees me to serve God's people. By calling me to celibacy God has called me for Himself and then he has given me to you and you to me. As a celibate man I am His and I am yours. As your celibate priest I am at some of the most significant moments of your life your baptism, your first communion, I witness your weddings, together we will bury your parents. I am yours when you or your loved one is sick or hospitalized. Sometimes we rejoice together at your successes and cry together when you mess up. I believe that for whatever reason I was created to share my life with the church in this unique way. I am not torn between the needs of my own little family and the needs of the people of God. In fact I see the Church as my family, you are my family. I know that there are married people all over the world who faithfully minister to God's people. I have shared, or better yet tried to share my life with the people of God for 25 years. Experience has proven to me that one reason God has called me to celibacy is because he wants me to be available to his people day in and day out, 24/7 as they say in the vernacular. Being celibate frees me to share my love and my life with many people in many circumstances. In a sense I guess you could say that I feel wed to God, His people, His church.

While my relationship with God's people is vastly different from the communion of life and love that a husband and wife share, it can still be fruitful. I have come to see how it is fruitful in a different ways. I have come to understand over the years that even though I will never have children of my own I can still be generative. I have had the privilege of sharing my life with so many people, so many wonderful people. I have been blessed with the ability to see that my words and my life and my prayers and my fasting, my sacrifices make a difference in people's lives. Even a celibate man can leave his mark, even a celibate man can live on in the lives of people who have crossed his path. Yesterday I received an email from a young man who is serving in Iraq, I had not heard from him for 6 years. He thanked me for being a part of his life. As I read the email once again I experienced the grace of God's tears. One of my greatest joys is to hear from one of "my children", to hear how they are doing, to listen to their dreams and the accomplishments to help them with their struggles. For many years now I have received calls, text messages, cards or emails on Father's day. To have someone even think to call me or remember me on Father's day brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart. I am not sure when it became the custom to call celibate priests Father, at first glance it doesn't really seem to make sense does it? However, that is how many people see me and how I often see myself. I am in awe of the gift of my spiritual paternity.

My eyes of faith have convinced me that from the very first moment of our lives God has had a plan for each and everyone one of us. Every one of us has a place in His providential love. Being celibate keeps me focused on God's love for me and allows me to focus on following his will in a unique way. I do not claim to be holier than anyone else, sadly quite frequently I feel the opposite is true. Being celibate allows me to be dependent on God. I have become convinced that it is easier for the poor to draw close to God because they don't have the luxury of many distractions. In the same way I believe that being celibate draws me into a unique relationship with God. It is not a better relationship but a different kind of relationship. For many years I have tried to encourage married couples to go on dates to continue their courtship. I have tried to help them see the importance of investing time in each other. I have also challenged myself to go on dates. In addition to my prayer life with the friars one night a week I try to spend time doing something with God. I read, I sit, I listen to spiritual music, I do whatever I can find to draw my heart to Him When I was younger someone some place encouraged us as young celibate men to allow God to be "our enough." That phrase has stuck with me for years and years and years. It is still my goal, my hope, my dream, my desire to allow God to be enough for me, "Be my enough oh God."

Recently I was listening to a tape on the Theology of the Body, by Pope John Paul II. As you can tell from my writing I am no theologian but the tape helped me see another aspect of my vocation of celibacy that I never really understood before. In the world view I really don't make sense, as I mentioned before, my life, my dreams, my motivations, don't make sense to many. When people see me coming in my Franciscan habit, there is frequently a question in their mind, " What is he about?" they ask themselves. Even the way he dresses is weird. John Paul the II's theology of the body helped me see that my life as a celibate is a sign, maybe even a powerful sign which points to something more, something different. It points to God's plan and God's will. Hopefully the lives of celibate men and women should cause people to stop and ponder how the Kingdom of God is present in their lives. I am grateful for this new insight. It is just another confirmation of God's plan for me.

As married men and women walk down the road of life together every age of their communion of life offers them new opportunities to explore the depth and beauty of each other's person. I believe it is impossible to ever come to a complete understanding of the gift that another person can be for us. I also have come to believe that my vocation as a celibate Franciscan priest will continue to offer me surprises and wonder as I walk down the road of life with the Lord and with His Church.

I feel the need to place a disclaimer here. I fully realize that I am not worthy of this wonderful vocation which God has given me. I also realize it that I have not always lived it well. I am so far from perfect. There are areas of my life which need work lots of work. This is not the place for me to go to confession but that is exactly what I try to do every week and I always have enough to say. For my lack of faithfulness, for my moments of weakness or worse for my moments of selfishness I humbly ask God the Church and anyone I've failed for mercy and forgiveness. I say without exaggeration that possibly the only place in my life where I have been faithful is in asking for forgiveness. The words "Have mercy on me a sinner" have never been far from my lips.

On this the 25^th anniversary of my ordination I reaffirm my commitment my desire, my hope to follow God's plan wherever he takes me for as long as he wants. " I will love him and honor Him, I will love his Church and honor her all the days of my life."

Remember that movie and my moment of sadness, as I continued down the corridor toward the exit I heard a voice which said to me as clear as day: " I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you." Those of you who know me know that I am not a "hearing voices kind of guy". Wishful thinking, you ask ? I believe that in that moment of wonderful consolation I was being held in the arms of God, I believe I was called to the "chick flick" for precisely that reason. As I pushed open the doors of the E Street Theater all of my fears and all of my doubts left me and I walked out into the world that God has given me to love.

Thank you Lord. Amen.

July 23, 2008
On the 25^th Anniversary of my ordination

Malibu…

Today I began a kind of retreat, or in-service or renewal program. At the first talk the friars read an abbreviated history of our Order in the United States. It was very moving to hear all of the accomplishments of the men who came before me. Our Province was once 350 men it seems like such a distant memory. In the reflection a very simple point was made… one which I have to mediate on a lot more. Even though religious life in America seems to be waning it is simply too easy to point our fingers at the culture or the times or whatever. Renewal of religious live in our country has to start with me. The only person I can change is me. What do I have to change in my life to be a more authentic son of St. Francis and a more faithful priest for the Church? If things aren't going well that is really the only question I can ask. What about me. The buck stops here….

Thank you Lord for a safe journey, Thank you for the joy of seeing so many friars again.

Into your hands oh Lord I commend my spirit.
Into your hands oh Lord I commend my spirit
You have redeemed me Lord God of Truth
I commend my spirit
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit
Into your hands oh Lord I commend my spirit.

Amen

An internet find....

Laughing with the Saints Part One



Laughing with the Saints Part Two

Laughing with the Saints Part Three

This just in... (World Youth Day)

CUA's own Annie Moyer is in Australia and will be sharing her experiences of World Youth Day with us via her blog...

Check it out... the blog is Australia through Annie's Eyes

Can't wait...

Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time Year A

July 6, 2008
St. Vincent's Chapel 9:00 PM Mass

Reading 1
Responsorial Psalm
Reading 2
Gospel

May the peace of Christ Reign in our hearts…
I hope I don't scandalize you but today's Gospel never really made sense to me.
I have never found it easy to follow Christ.

One only needs to look at the cross and meditate on the garden of Gethsemane
To understand what I am talking about.

Yet Jesus plainly states "my yoke is easy and my burden light"
Why How ?
What Gospel is he talking about ?

Many years ago I received a strange call.
Priests often receive strange calls.
This person was looking for a priest to celebrate the Easter Vigil in a minimum security federal prison for women.

Because I was a campus minister and we did not have an Easter vigil I agreed.
I packed up my mass kit and headed off

When I finally cleared security and was escorted into the dining room I was almost immediately surrounded by very kind and welcoming women.

Most of them were Hispanic there were a couple of African Americans and a couple of white women. One woman appeared rather elderly, stately and distant in the back.

Even though I just did a couple of readings the Mass went long.
At the prayer of the faithful the women prayed for their families
and their children there were lots of tears and emotion.

It was very moving.
The sign of peace was also almost ½ hour.
The guard kept looking at her watch More hugs tears and support.
No one approached the rather stately and distant woman in the back.

After Mass one of the women noticed I had glanced at the woman in the back and volunteered the following information.
She let's no one come close to her.
We tried to be nice to her.
She thinks we are just trying to get something from her
She is so angry.
There doesn't seem to be a moment of peace in her life her
I have never seen her smile in years.

Those women taught me an incredible lesson that day.
With all their problems
With all the worries they had for their families and challenges they faces.
The support they shared and the care and concern they showed for each other

Proved to me that they had indeed aceepted the yoke of Christ
And by doing so they were able to carry their crosses
Face their mistakes
Face their loneliness.

Once in a while like
during the Sign of peace many of them seemed actually freed
freed them from their personal prisons
The love and support they shared freed them.

From what the other women told me
The woman in the back didn't ever appear free.

You see even
When forgiveness is not easy,
When care giving is not easy,
When humility is not easy,
Even when the cross is not easy,
When love is not easy,

They are all easier than hate,
They are all easier than greed,
They are all easier than always worrying about what people think of you
or that someone is taking advantage of you.

In the first reading the prophet Ezekiel foretells the coming of a messiah a savior.
Who will banish war and hate (the ways of the world) and bring us to something better something way better.
I would venture to say that that something better is the Yoke of Christ.

In the second reading St. Paul challenges us to step up and embrace the Spirit of Christ.
To forgo the flesh, the ways of the world,
To see things through the eyes of the Spirit of God
and live and love as Christ would have us do.

So what is this yoke that Christ offers us?
Put simply the Yoke of Christ is his call to follow his will.

When we put one the yoke of Christ we agree to live as he would have us live.
We agree to try to look at people and events like he see them.
We yes we even agree to the cross and sacrificial love.
The yoke of Christ may no be easy but it is definitely easier than the ways of the world,
easier than being consumed by greed
and hate
and anger
and being lost in narcissism

I don't judge lonely woman in the back
I don't judge her at all.
After all she was at the back of the room
I have prayed for her.
I wonder if she was every free
If she was really free even when she got out of prison?

Who knows.

I guess the question for all of us today is.

Have we
Do we
Will we embrace the yoke of Christ.

Will we accept it even when it seems so difficult
or will we be afraid.

Is it the ways of the world or the yoke of Christ
What will we choose
Where will we place our trust.

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

From the Lamb's Supper by Scott Hahn Pg. 156

From the moment you walk into church, you place yourself under oath. By dipping your fingers into holy water you renew the covenant begun with your baptism. Perhaps you were baptized as an infant; your parents made the decision for you. But now, with this simple motion, you make the decision for yourself. You touch the water to your forehead, your heart , and your shoulders and you sign yourself by "the name" in which you were baptized/Wrapped up in this motion is your acceptance of the creed, which your parents accepted in your name at your baptism. Wrapped up in this motion is your rejection of Satan, and all his pomps and all his works.

Doing this you testify, you make testimony, as you would in court. In court a witness puts himself, his reputation and his future on the line. If he fails to tel the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, he knows he will face severe consequences.

You, too, are under oath. When you make the sign the sign of the corss you renew the sacrament of baptism, thus renewing your obligation to live up to the rights and duties of the New Covenant. You will lvove God with all your heart and mind and sould and strength, you will love your neighbor as yours"Amen" The Aramaic word that conveys assent and agreement
Yes! ! "Amen" is more than a response it is a personal commitment when you say "Amen" you commit your life.

Thus in the Mass, you are not merely a spectator, your are a participant. Yours is the covenant that you will renew. Yours is the covenant that Jesus Himself will renew here and now.

An old favorite still moves me....

Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give.

Today's readings are so interconnected that this is a rare Sunday where I can very briefly speak to all three. In the first reading from Exodus God reminds the people of Israel and us that we are precious in His eyes... He reminds us that we are "A kingdom of Priests a Holy Nation". We have a special relationship with God and therfore we have a special relationship with each other.

The second reading goes even farther. To make his point St. Paul says " It is rare that a person should die for a good man, but God died for us while we are sinners" broken, unrepentant... that's how much we all of us are loved.

In the gospel Jesus moved by his love, "moved by pity" for the crowds who were like sheep without a shepherd sent forth the apostles.. That's what the word apostle means one who is sent. He sent them out the heal, to instruct and to give hope. and he reminds them to give freely, give without cost, because we have all received without cost. God's love has been free.

You know, our thoughts, our feelings our perspective, all flow from our experience, In the past few weeks my thoughts my feelings and even my perspective have been really influenced by my visit to Tanzania. It has caused me to pause and to think and to reflect on my life and my our experience here. The experience itself was a gift and certainly a challenge from God.

I have come to see that God loves all of us but not all of us are blessed in the same way. All of us do not share the same gifts. There are those who are blessed with a comfortable life. There are those who must struggle all of their lives. In Tanzania the life expectancy is only 50 years old. The women carry water on their heads and people walk for miles to bring their simply products to a market. From any perspective Their's is definitely a much harder life than ours

From those blessed with material possessions God expects that we keep our abundance in perspective that it does not assume such an important place in our life that it distracts us from Him and our brothers and sisters. All that we have been given is meant to be shared is meant to be used to bring people home to God. "From those who have been given much much is expected.

Those who have been given so little their lives are meant to challenge us to generosity. Their hardship and their need should move us to pity should challenge us to love like Jesus was moved to send out the apostles.

As I reflected on these reading I kept coming back to central question, how do we who are precious in God's eyes view the poor who are also precious in God's eyes, what place do those blessed with less, have in our lives?

How do we view the sheep without a shepherd that we see over and over again on our streets? Do we see them as a bother, and inconvenience? Do we see them as somehow at fault for their circumstances. Do we look down on them or are we moved by pity or love to be a positive influence in our lives. We must never forget that all of us here at this Mass are God's apostles, all of us have been sent by God to those in needs....

Remember the Gospel calls all of us to give without counting the cost because that is how we received all of our blessings...

Does that make you nervous ? it makes me nervous.

AMEN

Sex and the Soul

Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance and Religion on America's College Campuses

by Donna Freitas

Interesting as the title implies....

A friend passed this book on to me last week and as you might expect from a Campus Minister, I looked at it with interest. On page 56 the author seemed to imply that some of what she had to say about Catholic colleges and universities might not apply to CUA because we are on the conservative end of the spectrum of Catholic Education. Interesting...

What stuck with me...

The author spoke about the way some students she interviewed viewed themselves as spiritual but not religious. I have to say that in my time as a Campus Minister I have met many young people and adults for that matter who expressed similar thoughts. They consider themselves spiritual because they were open to or believed in a "higher power." They do not consider themsleves religious because while they might believe in a higher power, someone, something greater than us, they weren't really sure what that meant for them. they express thought like "If there is a God what does that mean?" I usually banter back if there is a God and this God created us then what God says should matter in our lives. This is something that all of us need to gently but consistently reinforce, if there is a God shouldn't what God reveals to us matter ? Patience, and a witnessed life are essential when we try to bring someone to faith.

I am well aware that some college campuses have to varying degrees developed the "hook up" culture which the author spends a lot of time with. Why should this surprise anyone. The world has developed the "hook up" culture and universities are in the world. This type of culture is also present in the lives of some of our students. I also agree wholeheartedly that almost everyone involved in these types of choices find this type of culture demeaning and unfulfilling, shallow if you will. In a nut shell the "hook up culture" involves some type of physical beginning to a relationship or even worse physical "hooking up" when one or both participants try to pretend that it just doesn't mean anything, being physical for the sake of being physical. Sad

I have found that here at CUA there is a significant segment of our campus that wants more for themselves and their friends and tries to avoid this type of behavior. There are those who kind of pass through it especially in their Freshman Year and look back on it with sadness. There are a some just seem to get stuck there. I believe that it is important to treat everyone who crosses our doorway with respect and compassion, calling them to live better, holier and more fulfilling lives.

We try to help them work through their past failures doing everything we can to help them experience the merciful love God is so eager to share. The author makes a very good point when she states that for many women "hooking up" is really about seeking a relationship and yearning for a little romance. Sad to say experience has shown that hooking up with someone rarely leads to a lasting relationship and if a person hooks up too much then they get a reputation as a player or damaged goods and it makes it even harder for them to obtain what they so ardently desire.

One young woman said to me...."You know guys want a certain type of woman for a relationship and marriage. They have this ideal woman in their mind but they do their best to make sure there are very few of these women around. In other words many men are anxious to hook up but when a woman joins in she lessens her chances for a long term relationship. iIt goes without saying that hooking up also hurts men. It makes it so difficult for them to relate to women in a healthy way and when they are known as a "player" women who have developed a healthy self confidence want nothing to do with them. These are difficult lessons to learn for many and sadly these missteps almost always involve broken hearts.

Because of our rich Catholic heritage.... because of our Catholic mission... we are able to address this foray into loneliness head on with the values of the gospel.

I have found that almost everyone deep in their heart understands what is right and wrong. It is just so hard to be good sometimes not only for 18 year olds in Spellman Hall but for all of us.

Sitting in my chair....

The last few days have been very relaxed but I'm still a little tired... with the end of the mission trip I finally consider my school year to be over. Campus is pretty calm and a lot of people have begun vacations. I hope to have more time to blog toward the end of the year it was just plain hard to fit it in. Yet there is something therapeutic about sitting in this chair and sharing my life with whoever chooses to read this.

I was really sad to my by Bishop Turner High School 30 year reunion. I would have enjoyed getting back in touch with everyone. I have a few new contacts and when I get back in Buffalo this summer I will be sure to look them up.

What do I hope to do this summer ?

I want to read... any suggestions? I'm reading a book now called "Sex and the Soul" it is one author's study of sexuality and spirituality on college campuses... it is interesting but doesn't quite gel with my experience here at Catholic. I'm going to write about when I finish reading it.

I also want to recharge and exercise and get ready for another year. I have lots of little projects to do in the office and I have we are in the process of hiring for two positions in Campus Ministry. To my surprise we have a number of very good candidates for both. I am really grateful and excited about that... please keep those hires in your prayers...

I have the pictures of our Tanzanian Trip on Google... here is the link should you wish to look at them.

Kigoma continued....

Proud, humble, skilled, confused, trying hard, given up, generous, harsh, prayerful, searching, muddy dirt streets with lots of dust, beautifully ironed clothes, many or most children don't wear shoes. Everyone eats but the choices are few. There is almost a wild west feeling as you walk the streets of Kigoma. The endless haggling and muzungo prices (they always up the prices for white people) gets old after a while. "Tell me what it costs and I'll pay, but don't charge me 5 times the cost because I'm a muzungo" (white). Sometimes we are greeted in a warm friendly manner " Jambo" they they say or "Karibou "(Welcome) Other times I was screamed at "hey muzungo give me some Coca Cola." Bravado from young men who are day labors. They earn just $5.00 a day for back breaking work I would be frustrated too. Sadly they probably see no way out of their situation nor do I.

The life expectancy is for someone in Kigoma is just 51 years. That just doesn't seem fair. I am inspired, and saddened, I feel guilty for my (our) excess, but I struggle to put up with their minimum. There are moments when it all seems to make sense to me, what a folly indeed.

I often find myself asking what can I do ? I have come here to see to learn now what ? Often, very often people, especially the young in Kigoma ask us questions about our life and experience in the US. They seem to think that our streets though paved with gold. Are they ? As I reflect more, I come to the conclusion that while we have more, our life is not really that different from theirs. Our property does not make us holier or happier, ours is possibly, "possibly" an easier life with more distractions but is it a better life ? I am not sure, it just it depends on how we look at our lives at all.

Children of Kigoma.... build your dreams in Kigoma. Build them for your Church, your country your people. Our dreams are not what they appear our life may be easier but not better.... Still jet lagged..... Does the song on the video come from the Lion King ? I hope not...

Kigoma....

Hospitality Hospitality Hospitality. "A guest is a blessing" the young the young Brother of Charity repeats to me as I try to get him to take the money for our taxi. They have taken such good care of us in Dar es Salaam

At the airport of Kigoma... yes only part of the runway is paved... there is Brother Stan. He waves vigorously as we get off of the little plane. The roads are not paved there seems to be a sea of people wandering the red clay roads. As we weave our way to Ahadi his home and the home of the Emmanuel Community I send a text message to the families of our trip members letting them know that we have arrived safely. I know that some of them are worried. As we arrive a continuous stream of young men run out of the door. Some are young and strong some of them are obviously handicapped. Welcome Welcome Welcome they say. Caribou. I think that is how you write it and say it in Swahili. I am happy to hear that we will be staying right with the community. We will be able to pray with them and work with them wake with them and eat with them. We will share their simple meals. In the morning we eat a boiled sweet potato., at lunch rice and beans, at supper the same. There is also a corn mush that I find difficult to eat. The young men love it and pile their plates high. There are over 100 people who live in this little place. No one is turned away. Most share a simple little bed and mosquito net with another. They study, they work, and some are here because they have no other place to go. The house is so crowded. We barely fit under the tin roof as the community sings their grace before their meal. Beautiful.

First night...
I lay under my mosquito net the night is filled with unfamiliar sounds. I am exhausted but I cannot sleep. Why am I here? What is this place? Am I still up to the challenge? Can I make this a positive experience... how far can I let this experience push our students? They are so willing but they really don't know what they will see or experience. Youthful passion and enthusiasm... it is so life giving and sometimes even a little naive. The thoughts just don't stop as I toss and turn. Then someone starts singing at 2 in the morning he sings the same thing over and over and over again. He seems to sing until his throat is raw. It bothers me but I try to put it out of my mind. Who could that be singing in the middle of the night. Why doesn't anyone shut him up. The train whistle sounds in the distance and I seem to fall asleep still convinced that I am awake. Am I dreaming all of this ?

The next morning as I eat my boiled sweet potato Bro Stan points out young man who was singing all night. He suffers from manic depression and was becoming manic. He is calmed down now and looks exhausted. There are two young men who walk next to him and care for him. The one is a postulant of the Brothers of Charity. He actually shares the same room with the young man who is so sick. His care and concern for his friend is evident from afar. He smiles and place his arm around the young man who is so sick... I immediately feel guilty for my harsh thoughts the night before. Bro Stan assures me that he will be given an injection to calm down and help him get in balance again...

The day begins...

New Beginnings CUA Commencement 2006

Today the Class of 2008 processed in donned their academic hoods and left CUA. Some we just so happy. Some couldn't wait to get out of here and many left with tears in their eyes. It has been such a priviledge to be a part of their lives. I confess sometimes I fear that I don't invest enough time with them or I feel there is just not enough of me to go around.

The ceremony was beautiful all in all it was a fitting ending to four years of hard work and sacrifice for most.

Here are some scenes from Commencement 2008

This is the prayer I had the priviledge of closing the ceremony with.....

Lord as we finish this commencement
We are filled with thanksgiving for this university set for the 119^th time
sends forth another class of fine young women and men.
Who are ready to take their place in our world

Some are excited
Some can't wait to be about their lives
Some have been ready to go for a while
As they peek out at the rest of their lives
Some may even be a little nervous
But every single one of them is ready.

They will care for the sick
They will teach, and inspire
and by doing so form the next generation.
They will build beautiful structures
And delve into the wonders of your creation
They will listen and give wise counsel
They will open up for us whole wide range of emotions
with their talents on the stage and screen
They will draw us into the mystery of your beauty
with their music and the gift of their art.

We are sad to see them go
They have been a part of our lives for four years
But with anticipation we can't wait to see
the good that they will do
with the numerous gifts that you have given them.

Thank you for our graduates Lord
Thank you for those who have brought them to this place
To this beautiful moment in their lives
Their parents and grandparents
Their siblings, spouses,
Their friends, teammates, classmates professors
Everyone who have inspired them on their journey
And thank you for The Catholic University of America
May we never waver in our commitment to You and our commitment
to truth.

We ask all of these things Through Christ our Lord Amen

Watch a Video of our Baccalaureate Liturgy

Of particular note is the section where the University sends out those students who will be serving in our military, doing a full year of volunteer work, or discerning a vocation. (That section is after communion and you can fast forward to it.)

Click To Open Video

Getting Ready

The end of the year is always full of goodbyes and excitement. There are lots of dinners and functions to attend. It is always strange to me how quickly the campus empties out before you know it they are gone. We are already in full swing getting ready for our Mission trips. They leave next week.

The Office is like a staging filled with bags, we are taking candles stubs and t-shirts and communion dresses, a paschal candle or two, tons of sneakers, shoes and soccer balls, school supplies, med kits and lots of other things to Belize, Honduras, Jamaica and Tanzania. I was exploring ultra-violet water purifiers today. We shall see.

I also ordered the Chronicles of Narnia just a little reading. It takes 24 hours to get to Dar es Salam and then we will travel the next day to Kigoma Tanzania. I don't think there is internet access there but if there is I will try to post something.

53 years old and going to Africa joy the Order and see the world. Here are a couple of links to our Mission Trips... to Give you and idea.

St. Mary's Above Rocks Jamaica

Mission Honduras

Mission Belize

Mission Tanzania (Brothers of Charity) AHADI Kigoma Tanzania

Morning Calm

In the early hours of the morning,
I think of you O Lord
-In the early hours of the morning,
I think of you O Lord

You are always there to help me
-I think of you or Lord

Glory to the Father and to the Son
and to the Holy Spirit
-In the early hours of the morning,
I think of your O Lord

From the Liturgy of the Hours
Week Two - Thursday Morning Prayer

Last Night was beautiful

9:00 PM Mass last night at St. Vincent's was beautiful. packed, spirit filled, and prayerful. I wish I could have taken a picture. That would have been hard since I was presiding..
The music was incredible.

When the seniors came up for their blessing there were tears in many eyes. What will these young people become ? How will they leave their mark ? God only knows, but I am filled with hope. tn reality They are no bigger than a mustard seed in a world filled with doubt and confusion... We all know about mustard seeds don't we.

I am so grateful for the priviledge of being a part of their lives, so encouraged by their goodness and so challenged by their example. Sometimes their faces become an epiphany for me when I look at them in prayer when I watch them strive for faithfulness

Thank you God

Ascension Sunday – Year A - 2008

Today’s’ Gospel is called the Great Commissioning let’s look at it.

The search for meaning and purpose is written on every human heart.
When the busyness of life slows down
and the quiet of the night or day draws us into ourselves

We are called to reflect
During these moments
Every human being asks what is this all about?
What is my purpose my goal what am I supposed to do?.
Every human being asks why am I here?

There are people who try to avoid asking these profound questions for years.
They fill their lives with noise
or busyness
or distractions to escape the question

But in the end everyone has to face them.
We face them in moments of challenge
We face them in moments of sickness, sadness, or disappointment
We face them when a loved one dies.
We face these ultimate questions in moments of inspiration or joy.

Quite frequently people wander through life looking for the answers
Sometimes they even think they may have found them in a person
Or possession
Or occupation etc.

We who identify ourselves as Catholic
Know that we can only
find our meaning
and our purpose
and our goal or destiny in life and words of Jesus Christ

We believe
That Jesus is or has the answer to all life’s questions.
Every single question is found in Christ in every age in every circumstance.

What am I supposed to do with my life?
How am I supposed to act?
What should I sacrifice for or work for
What will I leave behind?

We believe that the answers to these important questions
Can only be found through our faith in the Son of Man.

As it says in today’s passage from the Gospel
“All power on heaven and earth has been given to me”
All power on heaven and earth.
In other words
All meaning and all purpose.
All hope

Today’s Gospel pointedly reminds us that
Our faith is not only for us
Our faith is not something between us and God
Many eastern religions go in that direction
Everyone’s goal is to find their own answers

Followers of Christ look at faith so differently
Not only are we to find God’s answers for ourselves
But we are called to help other people find God’s answers

I’ve been meditating a lot on this of late.
At the final judgment
Is it possible for a good holy person to stand in front of God by him or herself?
It is possible for a good person to arrive at the gate of heaven
not having helped anyone else get there ?


Yes We will all be judged on our own merit
But if we live good lives
Holy lives
Generous lives
Faithful lives
then
Someone should be standing behind us
A person who only thinks of themselves
and their own spiritual growth
And their relationship with God
Hasn’t really found God at all.

Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,

The command is so clear.
so real
And so challenging.

Finally Jesus promises us his presence
He reminds us that as we answer our questions and
Help others to do so

It is impossible for us to be alone

“I am with you always until the end of time.”

He is with us in his word
He is with us in his Church
He is with us in each other
He is with us in the sacraments
He is with us when we are good
When we are bad
He is with us when we succeed and
When we fail
He is with us when we are strong and healthy
He is with us when we are weak and broken and discouraged
He is with us when we face final exams
In our journey we are never alone
Never

And so you see holy ones…
As always this gospel challenges us in several ways

Are we living thoughtful lives
Do we ever take the time to reflect?
Do we ever take the time to ask the questions which are written on our hearts?
Or
Do we simply go through life?
Living life on the surface never really thinking about the meaning
of our actions.
Our hopes,
And our dreams.

Is our life so filled with noise and busyness that God and
God’s purpose in our lives is drowned out.

Are people better because they know us
Who have we helped grow in their faith
Who have we brought to Mass ?
Who have we brought to faith?
Are our roommates better people because of our quiet influence and example?

Can we say that we are living good lives,
Holy lives,
If no one is helped by our example?

Finally are we are of God’s presence
In our lives?

Do we seek it?
Do we work to experience it?
In each other
In God’s creation
And most specifically in
The Church in the sacraments?

We are all blessed here
The faith life on this campus is so present for those who participate in it

I’m awe of your faith your example
As we leave our campus
And our packed Masses
And Praise and worship Adoration
And our Renew Groups
And our service experiences

As we return to our Parishes,
And our families,
And our High School friends.

Let us never forget God’s call

God’s great commissioning
Go and make disciples of all (men and women)

The responsibility is great
The commissioning is clear.

Have a great summer everyone.
Keep in touch and we will surely miss you
starting in July (just kidding)

Servant Leadership...at CUA

These are some thoughts I shared with our student leaders last Sunday. As I read the Gospel passage from John 13. Student leaders from different organizations on campus came and washed and kissed each others' feet. I think their acting out of the Gospel had a profound effect on the 150+ student leaders who participated.

Sharing....

Because of our Mission I would propose to you that men and women in leadership roles here at CUA should exercise them in a unique way.

Just like there should be a different in our Residence Hall because we are the Catholic University of America and there is….

You guys don’t know how different it is here because you don’t have other experiences to compare us to...

I think, I hope because we are Catholic we care more.
Because we are Catholic look out for each other more
Because we are Catholic we try and get the whole story before we act

Just like there should be a difference in the way our Offices treat students and most of the time there is… because we are the Catholic University of America

How should we exercise leadership at CUA

I would like to propose to you a passage from scripture to help us get started.
Whether you are Catholic or not it is a very touching story..

John 13: 1 – 20

1 2 3 Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. 2 The devil had already induced 4 Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper, 3 fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power and that he had come from God and was returning to God,4 he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist.5 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and dry them with the towel around his waist.6
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Master, are you going to wash my feet?"7
Jesus answered and said to him, "What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later."8 Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet." Jesus answered him, "Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me."9 Simon Peter said to him, "Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well."10 Jesus said to him, "Whoever has bathed 6 has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over; so you are clean, but not all."11 For he knew who would betray him; for this reason, he said, "Not all of you are clean."12 So when he had washed their feet (and) put his garments back on and reclined at table again, he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you?13 You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so, for indeed I am.14 If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another's feet.15 I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.

(Student leaders pre picked from different groups wash each other’s feet in front of everyone)

Kind of radical isn’t it
Not easy to look at.
I think it is harder to have your feet washed then to wash someone’s

This is the model of Leadership that Jesus proposes to us
and this is the model that we should propose at Catholic.
It is how our students should lead
This is how you need to lead
It is how our staff should lead
It is how our administrators should lead
It is how our faculty should lead

I want to make a disclaimer…
WE ARE NOT perfect
I am not perfect
I feel a little uncomfortable asking you guys to do something that I am not necessarily good at doing myself

Even our offices can do better
We talk about doing better
We are working together at getting better.
Sometimes however our humanity gets in the way

And sometimes we don’t listen to each other as we should
Sometimes there are petty competitions between offices
Or turf wars

We are getting better but there is still room to grow.
So in a sense I don’t want you to let our own weakness our own mistakes keep you from being the men and women we need you to be.

1. The first thing that we need to learn from this model of leadership is that we can’t be in it for ourselves.

Our service our leadership cannot be about us
It is not about us.
.
People involved in leadership here at CUA should never say things like
“I’ve go the power”

The gift of our time and our talents has to be free.
Just like love has to be free.

Jesus did not wash the feet of the apostles because he liked doing that

It was not necessarily a pleasant task the roads were dusty their feet were dirty
He did it because he cared about them
There was nothing in it for him.

Our leadership cannot be about feeding our ego to make us feel important.
That’s how turf wars begin…

And at Catholic especially in the past especially in our student governance or leadership they took turf wars to a new level
They are or have been almost an art form.

When it is not about us then we shouldn’t hear things like
This is my program
That’s your program why should we help you look good
You don’t have my permission Maybe I’ll give it Maybe I won’t
I haven’t signed off on that yet

Words like My and Mine and I want etc…
Are hard to keep in mind when you are washing someone else’s feet

CUA Student Leadership cannot be about making yourself look good
I repeat your service and the gift of your time and talents and efforts has to be free.
A Free gift

2. In our model of leadership here at CUA we have to do something worthwhile.
Do something of value

Make sure your programs touch people lives.
Make them laugh
Educate them
Make them healthier
Help them affiliate or feel at home here
Entertain them
Help them care about others

Make sure your efforts affect the greatest number of people
Remember your whole constituency

Sometimes people in power use their influence for a select few their special friends.
And anyone else who might happen to benefit from it.

Your efforts have to be broad based.

Lots of times people have ideas which they really think are great but really don’t seem to make a difference in the lives of our students.

To make our service worthwhile…
We shouldn’t say to our constituencies "I know what is best for you" Or "This is how I am going to serve you"
Rather we should say
How can I serve you
How can I help you
What kind of programs do you want

(We can’t be all things to all people) and
We can’t satisfy everyone needs and wants
But worthwhile service begins with listening.

When Jesus washed the feet of the Apostles it benefited them
Their feet were clean after he washed them

We continually have to ask ourselves as we program and work as student leaders how is this helping someone?

Yes you have to try things.
But if no one attends or it doesn’t work out.Then you have to try something new.
It is doesn’t work change it.

Don’t be a student leader for yourself
Use your leadership to do something worthwhile.

3. I propose that The third component of Student Leadership at CUA should be humility.

We really need to meditate on that.

When it comes to service or leadership, Humility is not something that the world sees of value.

If you drive down North Capital to the building with the dome you won’t find a whole lot of people who are promoting humble service or humble leadership.

Our government has some brilliant people who are great at what they do, but there is not a whole lot of humility there.

Jesus was the Rabbi
Jesus was the teacher
But he washed the feet of his disciples
He performed a task which was usually reserved for a slave

When guests arrived the servants or the slaves would wash their feet.
We need to lead humbly
As I said before it is important to realize that you are not the whole show

If we are humble we realize that someone else might have a good idea
When we are humble it is so much easier to collaborate.
It is so much easier to work together.

That’s something we have to do a lot better around here.
We need to collaborate…
We all have the same goals

To continue to make CUA
A positive fun safe place to be
A place which helps us all be the men and women God created us to be.
We need to Collaborate
We need to collaborate

That is something the Fr. O’Connell is always asking the administrators to do
Listen to each other
Help each other
Figure it out together.
He doesn’t want us to always run to him.
But frequently tells us to work it out on our own.

I feel that this is an area where our student leaders need a lot of growth.
When I say collaborate I don’t mean that everyone does everything.
Our office can never be responsible for club sports and
Mike Allen in Athletics should not start saying Mass.

There are however tons of things we can work on together
And sometimes
He can help us
And sometimes we can help athletics.

We need to find more areas where we can help each other.
We need to do more things together.

We have to get away from pronouns like
Theirs, mine, his, hers, I, me, and move to our or we

The Campus life CUA is our’s to create

Our service must be free
We have to do something that’s worthwhile
We have to be humble and allow ourselves to collaborate more
Work together

It is so easy to fall into the trap of being proud.
It is so easy to forget that your love your service
The gift of yourself your leadership
Has to be free…

Here are some prayer cards with the Word WASH on them...
I propose this simple word as a slogan for service next year.

W - Work
A - at
S - Serving
H - Humbly

This little word offers us a lot to think about indeed.

Amen